Just a ceremony.. after longing for 9 months

14th October 2011

finishing whole course on December 2010.
after longing for 9 MONTHS,
and finally,

it’s just a ceremony.
totally do not have any excited feeling for being ‘graduated’ officially.
some friends have gone overseas for further study in different Universities for Degree Programme.
many of them are decided to step into different career fields no matter are them related to our Diploma or not.
while ME, the earliest one to get a job, and working part time at the same time too..
after half year, after some occasions, make me stop for a while.
Sis says: After your Degree, you have to start to work hard, while you will never have the time to rest like now, so, better take your time to relax before this.
I know, I know that she hopes I can put more time to accompany mum n dad, n her ^^
she always urge me to go home within these 3 years since I’ve left home while my parents just back from fighting for the family from oversea.

it’s just a simple one.
feeling a bit impatient while listening to the long speeches from the VIPs.
after that, having a short overall photograph session,
and, everyone throwing their folders ( since Diploma do not have CAPS),
though I can feel the excitement on that very minute.

meet your mum, coincidently.
she called me. seems quite excited.
she asked me to have a photograph with you.
i’m stunned but still, have it, with xinyun in the middle.
your brother keep staring at me.
do not know him well, but feeling weird.
i can feel that you wanna chat with me and take photograph of 2,
but i think the God’d listened to my voice.
ya, i did it, i face with you quite naturally.
and luckily, you didn’t asked me the question as in your SMS.
actually, i’m glad to know you.
i’m glad to have those great moments with you.
xinyun asked: you really don’t want to forgive him?
honestly, i’m hesitated.
but nevermind,
i do believe that,
everything will go on right.

when looking around, everyone are holding a bunch of flowers or lovely bear on their hands,
with their family,
while i’m just holding a folder, with no one.
a bit admired.
but i know it’s worth for asking my family for waiting me at home.
Just a Diploma. meant nothing for me. as i still have a long path to move on for the important one.

after capturing photos with friends from each schools over an hour,
i’m rushing back to put off my make up.
haven’t been make up for almost 2 years after bro’s wedding.
rushing to BW jetty to take the long journey bus.
at last, in the evening,
i’m *~Home Sweet Home~*
i’ve missed the gathering with friends,
but i think it’s more important for me to meet up with my sis and stay with her longer.
Bro didn’t come back.
I know he won’t come back just for a Diploma.
i’ve been disobeyed and make him so disappointed on my choice of further study since 3 years ago.
i know that he will send me to Australia if i want and ask for it.
but when i think of the huge burden that will make on him, i give up at the last minute.
he has been concerned about my Degree since last year, but now, he didn’t ask for it already after i told him i’ve planned to continue back in Han Chiang for USQ PR & Journalism programme.

staying few days at hometown,
finally get to meet up with my best friend and some old schoolmates.
keep on talking all the time. maybe because we have been aparted for too long time.
getting the news that a few friend and junior who are facing with their weight problems,
have been successfully lose their weight while their photos make us feel amazing and surprised.
admire and thumbs up for their determination.
i should learn from them. always.

have had a photograph session with dad, mum, sis and lovely niece.
heard that mum says wanna have a photograph session of our family, of course with bro and his family here.
however dad says, bro always go for overseas though he is at SG now,
so do not know when only can have it.
taste a bit sour when heard this conversation.
our family has been far apart-ed since i’m 9 months old. till now.
seldom to have the chance to gain al-together.
that’s why i’m always try to go home once i get to know my bro and sis will be back.
while i think some of my friends might not be understand since i’ve keep on put them on ‘aeroplane’ with the reasons of going home.
well, i do not need anyone to understand me.
i’m happy to have a family who always so sayang me.
distance might be a problem for relationship,
distance will never ever be a problem for family.
i love my family *.* (though i never speak out)

finally have the chance to shopping at ipoh Jusco.
have had a slice of Classic Cheese cake at Secret Recipes with sis and niece.
i love cakes since born.
i love cheese cake since having my 1st bite on it and like SR’s cheese cake the most.
have been more than 3 years for not tasting the SR cheese cake.
i missed it.
thanks sis.

It’s just a PAUSE, of my study life.
a good friend dialled and asked me: what is your plan in this coming 5 years?
i just can say: take every challenges and chances, charge myself fully, explore everything i can.
just want to focus on my study and career, for the rest of my life.

p.s. hostelmates & coursemates always like to describe me as ‘live dictionary’ as they always say i know everything well. but actually, my bottle of knowledge still have more than 3quarters to fill up.
miss the moments we’ve shared, tears or laughter.



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